Tying a real bow tie is one of those skills that looks impossible until you realise the knot is literally the same as tying your shoes. The key that most guides bury or skip entirely is the starting length difference — without it, the second fold will not pass through correctly. Here is the complete method.
What changed in 2026
- Bow ties are worn more broadly now, beyond black-tie events. Smart-casual bow ties in textured fabrics (knit, linen, tweed) are standard at business events and gallery openings. The technique is identical regardless of style.
- Adjustable neck bands are near-universal in quality bow ties. Check that yours fits your collar size before starting — a band that is too loose will slide around as you tie.
- Video tutorials are everywhere, but they still mostly fail to show the starting length asymmetry in enough detail. This text guide makes that explicit.
What you need
- A self-tie bow tie (not pre-tied) with an adjustable neck band
- A mirror at eye level, or slightly above
- A collar that fits — the bow tie sits at the collar button, not in the collar fold
Before you start: set your neck band
Adjust the bow tie band to your neck size. A collar size of ~15–15.5 inches (38–39 cm) is average for men; adjust the fastener at the back accordingly. The band should sit snugly at the collar — not tight, not loose.
Step-by-step: how to tie a bow tie
Step 1: Drape the bow tie around your upturned collar. Let the right end hang about 3–4 cm lower than the left. This asymmetry matters — do not skip it.
Step 2: Cross the right (longer) end over the left end, exactly as you would start tying a shoelace.
Step 3: Pass the right end up through the neck loop from underneath, pulling it snug — but not tight — against your collar button. The result looks like a flat knot, with the right end pointing up.
Step 4: Hold the left end horizontally and fold it into a bow shape by folding it back on itself. This is the front bow. Let it rest there.
Step 5: Drop the right end (which is pointing up) over the centre of the front bow, covering it.
Step 6: With your right index finger and thumb, fold the right end back on itself to make the rear bow. Push this rear bow through the loop behind the front bow — the same gap where the right end is currently sitting over the front. This is the step that feels awkward at first; push, do not thread delicately.
Step 7: Pull both folded bow sections (not the hanging ends) to tighten the knot gently. The bow should take shape.
How to adjust the bow
| Problem |
Fix |
| Bow too wide, floppy |
Pull the folded outer edges inward |
| Bow too tight and narrow |
Pull the folded outer edges gently apart |
| Knot lopsided |
Untie and start again — trying to fix a bad knot makes it worse |
| One side much longer |
Check the starting length; re-do from step 1 |
| Bow sits crooked on the collar |
Adjust the neck band; the knot itself is fine |
The imperfection principle
A perfectly symmetrical bow tie is a pre-tied clip-on. A self-tied bow tie is slightly irregular — one fold a little wider, the knot slightly off-centre. This is not a flaw; it is the signal that it is real. Embrace it.
Common mistakes
Starting with ends at equal length. You need the right end 3–4 cm longer. Without this, the final fold will not reach through the back loop.
Pulling the hanging ends to adjust. The hanging ends control knot tightness, not bow width. If you pull them you tighten the knot and collapse the bow. Adjust width using the folded parts only.
Folding too neatly. Do not crease the folds — let the fabric fold loosely. Crisp folds produce a stiff, artificial-looking bow.
Working in front of a too-close mirror. Step back 50 cm. A close-up view makes proportion judgement impossible.
What to skip
- Clip-on bow ties for formal occasions — at black-tie events, a real knot is expected and noticed.
- Watching one tutorial once and expecting it to work immediately — the first tie looks rough; the third or fourth is the one to wear.
- Tying the bow while the collar is unbuttoned — the resistance of the buttoned collar gives you tension to work against; without it the knot slips.
FAQ
How long does it take to learn?
Most people get a wearable result within three or four attempts over a single session. Muscle memory sets in quickly after that.
What fabric is easiest to start with?
A medium-weight woven silk or polyester blend holds its shape well and is more forgiving than cotton or linen. Avoid knit bow ties until the technique is comfortable — they are much harder to shape.
How do I untie it afterwards?
Pull one of the hanging ends firmly. The knot releases cleanly. Do not cut corners by loosening the neck band and slipping it off — this strains the fabric over time.
Does the technique change for a larger bow tie?
No — the steps are identical. A wider bow tie simply requires a slightly longer starting length difference (up to 5 cm) to get both folds through cleanly.
Where to go next